Want Relationship Role Models? Why Celebrity Relationships Aren’t the Answer

How did you learn to be in a relationship?

If you had clear guidance from parental role models or significant others in your youth, you are very fortunate. Many people take their cues from other sources. In fact, in our media-saturated world, celebrities and their fictional roles often seem to fuel our romantic dreams.

The stars live lives in which they are adored, sought-after, and held up as the romantic standard. It seems they are always loved. They have all the tools required for attracting and keeping "the one". They are who we should want to be.

Of course, it is true that, at first, the celebrity way of falling in love seems glamorous, affirming, and full of dramatic sexuality. All that fuels happily ever after. Yet, upon closer inspection, it soon becomes clear that far too many celebrity relationships prove unstable, unfulfilling, and repeatedly unsustainable. Not really the relationships to emulate your own life after all.

What Makes Celebrity Relationships Poor Role Models for Your Own?

Celebrity is Often a Self-Centered Enterprise

In other words, sharing the spotlight can become really difficult in celebrity unions. The second one celebrity’s star begins to fade, tensions can begin to build. The buzz begins about whether they should really be together. A feeling of superiority in one partner can create a power dynamic that ruins mutual respect and shared goals. The pressure of staying a star overwhelms the benefits of being a couple.

To feel fulfilled in your relationship, you want to create a connection that honors your worth as individuals privately and publicly. Finding ways to put each other first and affirm one another daily is vital.

Celebrity Relationships Tend to Put "Likes" from Others Ahead of Life Together

Despite what the lure of social media tells us, our relationships should be private, safe, and intimate. Trust is built in the safe spaces where we reveal ourselves to each other. Your secrets aren't shared online or anywhere. Your partner is always your priority. Compassion and understanding are the cornerstones of your relationship, not selfies and vacation pics that create the illusion of connection and companionship. 

Most of all, meaningful communication and commitment often mean that you don't have time to convince others that you're perfect for each other.

In fact, the realities of your day-to-day life may seem boring or unremarkable. That's okay! Building a relationship takes time, it may be, at times, mundane. Most importantly, it will be solid and satisfying because you devote the time and energy it deserves together… with the appropriate boundaries and priorities in place.

Celebrity Relationship Rarely Deal with the Tough Stuff (Until It's Too Late)

Do you ever notice that power couples and perfect celebrity marriages seem ideal for ages and then one day, they just end things abruptly? Without warning, the credits roll on their together.

This idea of just "falling out of love", can seem legitimate if you don't look deeper. In truth, most relationships die slow deaths.

Don't do things the celebrity tabloid way. You don't want to dismiss, ignore, hide, or bury the reality of your hard times together and suddenly find your relationship problems are irreparable. Pretending that you don't fight or have financial difficulties can lead to internal dishonesty and anxiety. Avoiding hurts or disrespect between you can just lead to resentment that causes you to drift apart. 

Resist the urge to pretend things are wonderful when they aren't. Instead, learn to face problems and repair them as a team. Tough experiences can make you both stronger, feeding growth and intimacy if you let them. Otherwise, you create long-term damage that puts you in that oft-reported celebrity cycle of falling in love, honeymooning and sad goodbyes.

Therapy, Not Celebrity, is Often a Better Relationship Guide In Real Life

Whatever your station in life, lasting love is challenging. Closeness is not created in a vacuum. Most of us need help traveling from infatuation to lasting intimacy. The shallowness of tabloid love and fictional fantasies are fun but not very functional over time.

It's good to have a relationship guide, someone with experience and tools, to help you communicate and set love goals.

Are you eager to develop a deeper idea of love? Couples counseling can help you write a true and enduring love story. When you are ready, I'm here to help. Please reach out soon for a consultation.