Grief Counseling
Has A Profound Loss Shaken Your Foundations?
Are you grieving the loss of a loved one or a relationship? Has a profound feeling of loneliness and isolation lingered in the aftermath of your loss? Do you continue to struggle with feelings of sadness or regret, despite feeling that ample time has passed since the bereavement period?
You may be coping with the death of a parent, a spouse, a child, or a friend. Or perhaps your grief is more abstract and associated with a loss of an aspect of your identity, like a job or a sense of normalcy after a big life transition.
Maybe you are feeling a deep and profound sadness that has triggered a period of depression or anxiety. If this is the case, you may struggle with physical symptoms like panic, nausea, and sleep disruptions. Or perhaps a sense of isolation persists because those who were there for you during the immediate aftermath of the loss have since moved on or shifted their priorities away from your grief, causing you to feel generally unseen or unsupported by your community.
Those who are working through loss can often get stuck in one of the stages of grief or feel as though they should be feeling better by now. It is human nature to want to distance yourself from either emotional or physical pain, and you may feel as though something is wrong with your inability to “get over” what has happened.
However, making space for those uncomfortable feelings will allow you to process them and move forward with your life. Grief counseling can help you to take those steps while helping you to develop ritual and meaning around your loss.
Grief Is A Universal And Painful Aspect Of Being Human
As humans, suffering loss is inevitable. We will all experience some form of grief in our lives, and it’s almost a guarantee that we will lose someone we love at some point. Despite the universal nature of loss, however, our society does not do much to prepare or provide support to individuals during periods of mourning and grief.
Instead, we seem to have shifted away from grief on a collective level, ridding our culture of the structures and rituals that were once intended for acknowledging the profound impact that loss can have on our lives. Whereas it was once appropriate to dress in black for extended periods of mourning, for example, it is now expected that we will process and reconcile our grief in a relatively short and finite period of time. Simply observing company policies that grant only two or three days of bereavement is just one of the many indicators that we don’t honor the long and nonlinear periods of grief that are part and parcel of the human experience.
Over time, this discrepancy translates to isolating experiences wherein we feel burdensome or that we cannot ask for help and support for coping with our loss, and those around us are at a loss of words for what to say. We are nevertheless creatures who are wired to bond with others, and therapy can be precisely the place where compassionate connection meets our grief.
Counseling Can Help You To Understand And Move Through Your Grief
Therapy is a place where you can establish connection and grief counseling in particular can help you to normalize your grief and feel less isolated by it. As you develop a deeper understanding of your emotions, you will become more successful in putting words to them, allowing you to better navigate your grief and express your needs.
I offer a safe and compassionate environment for you to process and assign meaning to your loss. Bearing this in mind, I tailor my emotionally-focused treatment to each client based on individual needs and the circumstances of the loss. At the same time, I aim to create a foundation that you can draw from in the future for the times you may experience disruptive symptoms associated with your grief.
Grief is a nonlinear process. Depending on where you are in the timeline of your grief, I will help you to understand what you are currently experiencing. And drawing from a modernized version of the traditional grief framework developed by Kübler-Ross in the late sixties, we will work together to identify which stage of your grief you may be “stuck” in and how to prepare for the other stages that will come and go.
Between the stages of Shock & Disbelief, Denial, Guilt, Anger & Bargaining, Loneliness & Reflection, Reconstruction, and, finally, Acceptance, you will learn something valuable about yourself and the relationship to the thing or person you have lost. Even in a situation of “complicated grief”, wherein a person has passed or moved on while your relationship was in strife, I will provide a space for you to safely explore your pain and heal from it.
During our sessions, we will discuss what is happening within, as you reflect on your loss and determine the areas of discomfort in both mind and body. From there, we will use the Seven Stages to evaluate how you were coping with your grief during the immediate aftermath of the loss and identify the areas where you have progressed. For this specifically, it is helpful to have the perspective of an objective and empathetic counselor, who may be able to recognize areas where you are evolving, even if you continue to feel stuck in your grief.
By the end of our time together, you will have a sense of the direction you are moving in. And you will have an understanding that while you may never “get over” the loss, you can still make meaning out of it—meaning that can take the shape of new interests or communities that you find through your grief.
Eventually, you will be able to establish a new normal, and the memories and emotions associated with your grief won’t feel so uncomfortable. Pain associated with grief and loss can be so overwhelming at times, but I know from working with clients through the course of my 25-year-long career that the pain lessens. Grief is not something to get over but to move through, and it is possible to find joy in remembering where there was once sorrow.
Perhaps you are considering grief counseling, but you have some concerns…
My loss occurred years ago; why do I need grief counseling now?
People tend to put their grief on a shelf or a back burner for fear of the pain that may arise if they confront it. If you struggle with ongoing symptoms of depression, anxiety, loneliness, and fear, you may find that unresolved grief is at the core of those issues. If you never confronted and processed your loss, it could very well still feel raw and emotional for you. As painful as this is, it is necessary to face your grief in order to fully heal so that you can avoid future emotional, physical, and mental disruptions while creating new meaning from your loss.
I’m afraid that if I really explore my grief, it will make me feel worse.
Therapy provides a safe space for you to explore your grief so that you can develop perspective and find relief from the deep sadness that you are feeling as a result of your loss. Your emotions are important and meaningful, and it is necessary to process them in a place that is safe and supportive. My goal as a therapist is to lessen the isolation you are feeling in the process of understanding and learning from your grief.
How long does grief counseling take?
My emotionally-focused model tends to take anywhere from 14 to 17 sessions. However, when it comes to grief, the amount of time spent in session can vary. Depending on the circumstances of your loss, the process may take more time. Alternatively, you may have already taken steps in processing your grief, which would make your time in counseling a little more straightforward. Wherever you are in your journey, I am prepared to help you cultivate the skillsets you need for healing.
Create New Meaning From Your Loss So That You Can Move Forward
If you have suffered a difficult or life-altering loss, grief counseling can help you to heal. To schedule a session, please contact me via my website or call (860) 906-7062 today.
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