The Many Different Ways We Grieve, and Why There’s No Single “Right Way”

If you think about grief, you will probably come up with a very specific picture in your mind.

Some people stereotype grief as an image of overwhelming sadness, tears, and heartbreaking pain. While those are all absolutely valid and true feelings, it is important to recognize that grief does not always appear the way it is portrayed in stories or how we have been conditioned to think about it.

There are many different ways to grieve. And not one single one of those ways is “right” or particularly “wrong.” 

Of course, there are healthy and unhealthy ways to grieve. But letting your assumptions and stereotypes try to convince you that you are not grieving the right way will not help you through the process. 

So, what are the different ways we grieve? And how can you use your way of grieving to find meaning in life once more and keep moving forward? 

Experiencing a Range of Emotions

Sometimes, grief can be a bit nomadic. While you have undoubtedly heard of the “stages of grief” before, that does not mean that everyone experiences them in a particular order. 

For some, grief can be a time of confusion, sadness, anger, and denial all in the same day. People who continuously experience a range of emotions when dealing with their grief have not been able to resolve it yet.

Still, it is not “wrong” or abnormal in any way to experience nomadic emotions as a means of getting through your loss. You simply need to work through them so you can move forward on your journey, instead of walking in circles. 

Seeking Out Meaning

Some people work through their grief by seeking some sort of higher power for answers. That might mean turning toward a particular religion or certain spiritual beliefs. Others may simply adopt philosophical beliefs to learn more about themselves, the world and people around them, and their place within the universe. 

While asking for answers in a spiritual sense can help you to find comfort and peace with what happened, it can be frustrating when those answers do not always come easily. 

Remembering What You Have Lost

One way to grieve is by memorializing what has been lost. If your focus is dedicated to preserving the memory of a loved one who has passed, it is your way of working through that loss and making sure that no one ever forgets them. 

People who grieve in this way tend to donate money in the name of the deceased, plant gardens or trees, or dedicate art or songs to the lost. These actions can provide a sense of comfort to know that someone who meant so much will be remembered forever through various outlets. 

Trying to Normalize Your Life

When you lose someone you love, it can completely uproot your life. Everything changes in an instant. And so, some people grieve by devoting themselves to other family members, friends, or their community. 

The goal within this kind of grief is to make things feel as “normal” as possible because you’ve lost such a large part of yourself. You might be craving that feeling of familiarity and closeness. And, of course, you cannot replace the person you have lost. But devoting your energy to other people in your life can help you to see that it’s worth moving forward. 

Taking the Time to Grieve

The most important thing you can do after losing someone/something you love is to take the time to grieve. While there is no “right way,” the wrong thing to do is to brush your feelings under the rug. 

If you are struggling with your loss and you are not sure how to get through the grieving process on your own, feel free to contact me. There are more coping techniques than those listed here and more ways to get through your grief without feeling alone. I would like to help you find them.